Lyrics and band info
If They Found Me Dead
If they found me dead
Dead and gone
My spirit fled, my life at end, my body done
I’d be in a better place, a peaceful smile upon my face
My clammy fingers wrapped around the gun
If they found me dead
As a lox
And on my plate a burger from Jack-In-The-Box
Who would go to work at 8
And do that stupid job I hate
And wear the toes out of my socks
If they found me dead
As a lox?
If they found me dead
Stiff as wood
But really, lookin’ for a dead guy
Prety good
In my dear, departed state
I’d be forever celibate
I woulda got a lot more
If I could
If they found me dead
Dead and gone
My spirit fled, my life at end, my body done
I made a lotta crummy plans
But now I wouldn’t give a damn
The coolest cat in Forest Lawn
If they found me dead
Dead and gone!
(© Ken Turetzky 1999)
If The Found Me Dead (1:20) (128k)
$.99 (320k) • 
The band:
Ken Turetzky: Vocals, acoustic guitar
Daria McBee: Background vocals
Lee Fortune: Bass guitar and keyboards
Terry McIntyre: Percussion
Song history
No. 39 song on DFSX Comedy Radio Top 50 for 2004.
Debuted on Sirius Radio Raw Dog Comedy Channel,
Dec. 1, 2004.
Posted in: at 2:29 am Tue, May 2, 2006.
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Drinking For England and The Homicidal Maniac's Song © 2006 and You Suck Bad © 2007 Small Pudding/ASCAP. Kicked In The Nuts © 2006 Brandon Higgins.
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Wed, Feb 3, 2010
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Recent Comments:
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By @kturet A ballad for David Carradine: “If They Found Me Dead” [link to post] #-music #celebsuicide #theend
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