Lyrics and band info
My Fat Ass Itches
Been on the street all day
I’ve been all over town
Gonna be on my feet some more, you know I can’t sit down
Because my fat ass itches
My fat ass itches
My fat ass itches
And oh, I can’t be livin’ thisaway
Old boy come up to me
Say, Buddy, you got a match?
I said, I don’t have time right now
You know I gotta scratch
Because my fat ass itches
My fat ass itches
My fat ass itches
And oh, I can’t be livin’ thisaway
I’m ridin’ in the subway
And ooh, I gotta scratch
A cop slaps on the handcuffs
And say, Boy, you can’t do that
Just ’cause your fat ass itches
Your fat ass itches
Your fat ass itches
But oh, you can’t be livin’ thataway
Well, I used to have a woman
But I couldn’t love her right
Said, Honey, please excuse me
And come back tomorrow night
Because my fat ass itches
My fat ass itches
My fat ass itches
And oh, I can’t be livin’ thisaway
Oh Lord, I tried Preparation H, hot bath, high-fiber diet, yoga, meditation and prayer meetings. But nothing will relieve this nagging itch. I fear it will be with me until my last dyin’ day.
….Baby, you don’t know what discomfort is.
Aaaaaaaaah!
(© Ken Turetzky 1999)
My Fat Ass Itches (1:10) (128k)
$.99 (320k) • 
The band:
Ken Turetzky: Vocals, acoustic guitar and harmonica
Daria McBee: Background vocals
Lee Fortune: Lead guitars and bass guitar
Terry McIntyre: Percussion
Song history
Dr. Demento Show, April 17, 2005. No. 3 song on
“Funny Five”.
Dr. Demento Show, March 27, 2005. No. 4 song on “Funny Five”.
Dr. Demento Show, March 13, 2005. No. 5 song on “Funny Five”.
Dr. Demento Show, Feb. 6, 2005.
No. 5 song on DFSX Comedy Radio Top 50 for 2004.
Debuted on Sirius Radio Raw Dog Comedy Channel,
Dec. 9, 2004.
Distributed nationally by TM Century Comedy Network Prep Service for week of July 26, 2004.
Posted in: at 2:33 am Tue, May 2, 2006.
2 comments
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Drinking For England and The Homicidal Maniac's Song © 2006 and You Suck Bad © 2007 Small Pudding/ASCAP. Kicked In The Nuts © 2006 Brandon Higgins.
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Look What I Made! is circulating at the Dallas Public Library and Indiana State University's Cunningham Memorial Library.
Once in a blue moon a song comes along that is completely and indisputably classic – My Fat Ass Itches is one such song.
LOL! Ridiculous, crazy. This is inane! Boy, you are such a comedian.