Could you talk a little faster?

Podcast: Big Phil’s Love Parade
Date: March 31 and April 7, 2008
Title: There Ain’t No Fool Like An April Fool and The Music Show #9
Download the show: Show 127 and Show 128

When I listen to Big Phil express his cogent, progressive political point of view, I frequently imagine not just how much better life will be once we’re rid of the Bush Administration, but also what I might have done with the valuable time lost waiting for Phil to formulate a sentence.

“Well, this week it’s time again to put aside (long pause) political ramblings and sexual frustrations (longer pause) and present another edition of Big Phil’s Love Parade, the Music Show. This is No. 9 (extra-long pause). It’s nice to kind of take a break every now and again and listen to some really great music,” Phil begins.

Rancid…Ken Turetzky

Sometimes the gaps create confusion. Did Phil just end a sentence there, or did he stop to compose an appropriate adjective? “We’re gonna hear from Rancid…Ken Turetzky…Rob Halford….”

Wait a minute. Did Phil just call me Rancid Ken Turetzky? Do I stink that bad? But no, he’s just listing the bands featured on the new episode.

So, play a game with me now. Let’s take that first paragraph, tighten up Phil’s diction and count the valuable seconds recovered for important stuff, like voting. Please listen:

Big Phil, in his natural, unedited state  (0:20)

Big Phil, edited for today’s audience on the go  (0:14)

The six-second rebate

Yes, folks, we saved six seconds, or a full 30 percent of valuable listening time, merely by eliminating the unnecessary gaps in Phil’s delivery!

I offer this service as a sort of thank you to Phil, who has loyally supported my music over these past several decades. During the last two weeks alone, Phil played Her Shit Don’t Stink and People I Know on the Love Parade.

With his assistance, the two culturally divergent songs rank atop the Podsafe Music Network comedy and children’s charts, respectively, for April 7, 2008.

What I’m really saying here, Phil, is this: Don’t ever change, you slow-talkin’ son of a gun!

We’re gonna hear from Rancid Ken Turetzky  (0:49).

Posted in: Podcast Roundup at 2:05 am Tue, Apr 8, 2008.

One comment

1. 

   Big Phil says:
   Twitter:

   7:42 am Tue, Apr 8, 2008

   It’s all about the dramatic pause! You know, in the tradition of Edward R. Murrow and William Shatner!

   Reply