!Archive: December 2008
Big Phil out, Bizarro Phil in at Love Parade
As the presidential campaign rolled toward its momentous conclusion, I took time out from my rabble-rousing and lovingly edited one of Love Parade host Big Phil’s socialist rants to make Phil sound like a complete fool.
Shockingly, the Big Dummy effusively praised my bit of character assassination, in he appeared to rage about purple asses and declared that he’d vacate the country if Obama came up aces in the election. Continue reading
Posted in: at 12:42 am Sat, Dec 27, 2008.
Now with funny jokes!
I treat the podcasters who play my music the same way I engage the spectators who unwittingly find themselves in the places where I choose to perform.
You’ll take what I give you and like it! is my message. It’s not like there are any other musicians around to entertain you!
As a result, well-trained hosts such as Steve Wheatley of Dalecast were thrilled when I salvaged five songs from my November set at Bill’s Records, the celebrated Dallas retail and concert venue, and dumped them into the Podsafe Music Network. Continue reading
Posted in: at 4:53 am Thu, Dec 25, 2008.
How To Perform For An Audience
The coolest thing I’ve learned from listening to The One Minute How-To is that if you want to become an expert at something, all you have to do is declare yourself an expert and appear as a guest on The One Minute How-To.
I’ve done it twice. It’s easy.
First time was about a year ago, when I described for OMHT host George Smyth, How To Write A Funny Song. Continue reading
Posted in: at 3:57 am Fri, Dec 19, 2008.
Jammin’ with The Ugly Guys
I’ve always enjoyed watching TV sitcoms, because the people in them are just like me — they never seem to go to work.
The Ugly Guys are particular role models, because they’re 40-ish, emotionally stunted and dedicated to the principle that one lucky lottery ticket, or its equivalent get-rich-quick scheme, can compensate for a lifetime of irresponsibility. Continue reading
Posted in: at 2:45 pm Mon, Dec 15, 2008.
Gigs
Event: Ken Turetzky at Red River Art Party.
Time and Date: 7:30-8 p.m. CDT Saturday, March 20, 2010.
Location: , 94 Red River Street, Austin, TX, 75039. (214) 738-4853.
Details: I'll be performing a 30-minute comedy set at this non-sanctioned SXSW event in , hosted by resident artist Mark Goad. Shows will run all day, from 11 a.m.-11 p.m. Suggested donation: $5.
Get Music
Her Shit Don't Stink:
Or, as a (.99) from my store.
My Fat Ass Itches:
(.99).
Look What I Made!:
Or, as a package ($4.95).
Get the CD from !
Listen
Enjoy these amusing songs by me and my friends. Listen to every track in my mp3 store for free!
Drinking For England and The Homicidal Maniac's Song © 2006 and You Suck Bad © 2007 Small Pudding/ASCAP. Kicked In The Nuts © 2006 Brandon Higgins.
Headlines
- Fan Turetzky Syndrome on Facebook (0 comments)
Tue, Feb 9, 2010 - Tyrone Kahn explodes some myths (0 comments)
Wed, Feb 3, 2010 - Screw you, I’m an outlaw, too (0 comments)
Tue, Jan 26, 2010 - Think good ol’ boy meets Moldy Peaches (2 comments)
Thu, Jan 7, 2010 - It’s just like being held hostage (0 comments)
Wed, Jan 6, 2010
Categories
- Dementia (37)
- Gigs (15)
- Hot Topics (6)
- Interviews (20)
- Lyrics (9)
- New Stuff (5)
- News (24)
- Podcast Roundup (91)
- Profiles (5)
- Radio (12)
- Video (5)
Archives
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| « November | January » | |||||
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | |
| 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 |
| 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 |
| 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 |
| 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | |||
Comments Leaderboard
- Shawno (31)
- Ste (26)
- Big Phil (24)
- Serenata (22)
- Ben Twisted (6)
- Volume Brothers (5)
- Out of Order (4)
- a Florist (4)
- TuSK (3)
- Schnauzer Logic (3)
Recent Comments:
- Big Phil said at 1:27 pm Tue, Jan 12, 2010: Still beatin’ my nutbag!
- Shawn said at 3:52 pm Thu, Jan 7, 2010: “Pseudo-celeb.” Well, it’s better than...
- Michael Angel said at 7:47 pm Mon, Jan 4, 2010: Did I do something to piss you off?
- a Florist said at 5:06 am Tue, Aug 25, 2009: Can’t agree more with knotheadusc, it will take weeks for me to...
- a Florist said at 5:03 am Tue, Aug 25, 2009: hahaha .. I’m riding in a subway .. and oo I got a scratch .. a...
Get on the list!
Sign up for spam-free comedy music news and previews of my rare and collectible live shows!
Latest Tweets
- I got two census forms in the mail and my RESPONSE IS REQUIRED BY LAW. Will someone knock on my door if I don't fill out both? 4 hrs ago
- Glenn Beck looks very good with that Nazi symbol. @ebertchicago Glenn Beck's decision to offend all churchgoers in U.S. 4 hrs ago
- @shawno Thanks for the plug, Shawno! in reply to shawno 16 hrs ago
- I saw you outside of Gueros, too. You saw my car, I saw your legs. @markramsey Fajitas, bitches! (@ Guero's w/ @lovelyleslie) 1 day ago
- Aline McMahon shoots bank robber boyfriend in Heat Lightning (1934). His dying words: "You're a good kid, Olga. I...I...Ah, who cares!" #tcm 1 day ago
- More updates...
Popular Posts
As heard on
Sirius-XM Radio's and Raw Dog Comedy channels, National Lampoon Radio, the Dr. Demento Show and dozens of podcasts!
Check it out!
Look What I Made! is circulating at the Dallas Public Library and Indiana State University's Cunningham Memorial Library.