Podcast: Dalecast
Dates: October 23, 27 and 29, November 3, 6, 14, 20 and 25, December 17, 2008
Titles: , , , , , , , ,
Download the show: . (Additional episodes available at . If unavailable, send a .

I treat the podcasters who play my music the same way I engage the spectators who unwittingly find themselves in the places where I choose to perform.

You’ll take what I give you and like it! is my message. It’s not like there are any other musicians around to entertain you!

As a result, well-trained hosts such as Steve Wheatley of Dalecast were thrilled when I salvaged five songs from my November set at , the celebrated Dallas retail and concert venue, and dumped them into the .

It’s new to you

The collection includes two previously unreleased tunes, Let Love In and True Love, along with new versions (as if anyone asked for them) of Her Shit Don’t Stink, If They Found Me Dead and I’ll Get Old And Die. All five songs are loaded up in my music player for your enjoyment.

But what’s really cool about these live tracks is they’re not all slick and rehearsed like my studio recordings. They’re, like, really bad, recorded directly from the mixing board, filled with sloppy guitar technique and phlegmy vocal performances.

Best of all, you don’t just get me playing the same old songs the same old way, but you also get to hear me introduce my songs with funny jokes! Jokes such as:

• People say, Ken, you should write a protest song. I tell them, I’m not very political, but I do complain a lot! (I’ll Get Old And Die)
• Time goes by and I realize I’m no longer the ambitious loser I used to be… . (If They Found Me Dead)
• When my time comes, I’m not going. If God wants me, He’s going to have to kill me! (I’ll Get Old And Die)

An old favorite

During one recent stretch of shows, Steve introduced a few of the Bill’s Records tracks, repeated songs from my embarrassing Live at Mayfest set, spun some more songs from Look What I Made! and, as if you could stop him, played three more times.

Steve also found the time to turn 48 years old back on October 27, celebrating with a three-hour show featuring 48 of his favorite podsafe songs. Among those songs was Fly Me To The Moon.

The moral? Even funny jokes are no match for a stupid Jerry Lewis impression!

Dalecast holiday mashup  (3:26).

Related posts:

1. Dalecast: Steve won’t stop playing my songs
2. Dalecast: Powerplay!
3. Dalecast: Unstoppable

Podcast: Dalecast
Date: March 11 and March 30, 2008
Title: ,
Download the show: ,

Steve Wheatley might be the most voracious client of the , grabbing dozens of new tracks for his daily .

Now, , introduced recently on Steve’s U.K.-based power pop program, isn’t exactly new. My brother-in-law, John, produced the track during two Terre Haute recording sessions that spanned some five months, concluding in fall of 2006.

People I Know is a family project. I sing lead and play guitar, John sings and plays bass, guitar and keyboards and my niece Morgan and my mom add background vocals.

We were going to add live drums, but never got around to it. Morgan kept asking me when People I Know was going to play on the radio, and whether the deejay would mention her name. And finally, the song I wrote for Morgan, that begins…

My mom likes to cook
She makes matzoh balls
I walk in the sun
With my parasol
These are some of my favorite people I know
People I know!

…is available on , just in time for

Listen to the full track in the music player at right.

But that’s not all!

During each program, Steve presents a comedy bloc, where he normally pairs one song with an episode of (Good God) . Fortunately for audiences, however, he’s either run out of episodes or decided to send the daft darlings on holiday.

Either way, why argue with good fortune? On another recent show, Steve recycled my monster hits and in the treasured comedy slot, and all is right again in .

If that isn’t sufficient honor, my bio and album cover are now enshrined in the Dalecast Hall of Fame.

Thank you. Thank you very much!

This one’s called People I Know  (0:23).

Two in a row from Mr. Ken Turetzky  (0:46).

Related posts:

1. Dalecast: Beware the British Batman
2. Dalecast: Steve won’t stop playing my songs
3. Dalecast: Now with funny jokes!

Noogie Man sabotages new tune

Chris Wilkinson writes songs the way other people breathe. He’s like one of those special people — , I think they’re called  — with remarkable, unexplained talents for mathematics or painting or getting elected president.

For example, I left town for a few weeks’ vacation, and when I returned, greeted me with Whatever Happened To Ken Turetzky and Hello Ken (You’re Back Again). And they were good songs! Better than anything has written in two years!

Fully aware that I rarely write or produce anything new, or really do anything at all for that matter, while he has so many songs, Chris charitably tossed me a sarcastic new composition called You Suck Bad.

recorded my harmonica accompaniment at his , and further enhanced the tune with some lead guitar.

Get a preview of You Suck Bad

Listen to the finished production in the player. (You’ll also find our previous collaboration, The Homicidal Maniac’s Song).

Chris rocks

Chris, as I noted previously, is the driving force behind the sound, which basically consists of skiffle music filtered through and . Still, though, it’s something.

So, why Chris would toss a gem like You Suck Bad to some no-talent vocalist like The Noogie Man (no bio available) is beyond me. Noogie’s exaggerated Louis Armstrong impression is no compliment to the song.

For that matter, in this tune that admonishes bad musicians everywhere, I think Noogie’s singing about himself:

Compare the Noogie and Volume Brothers versions and prepare to agree:

Noogie Man  (0:32).

Volume Brothers  (0:32).

Bring it home now, Noogie Man! And stay there!

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Jerry swings with Fly Me

I love Jerry Lewis, a comedy genius with a social conscience who recently reminded us that are people, too. Will we see Bart’s son Jesse on the cover of Parade Magazine next ?

What I wanna say is, Jerry’s still in there swingin’, Vegas style, speaking to the farshluggineh noodnick in all of us. He’s not afraid to let go of inhibitions, make a funny face, dance a little step, light a cigarette with a four-foot tower of flame or shove a water glass in his face.

Love hoits!

That’s the Jerry Lewis I emulate on Fly Me To The Moon, a lovably spastic interpretation of the standard introduced by host Tyrone Kahn in the latest podcast.

Featuring on guitar and Robert Crowe on keyboards and bass, the track was an inspired afterthought at the close of a long recording session.

Our song languished for two years until Lee played it for a captive audience one recent evening and all reluctantly agreed, “Hey, lady! Dat’s one kockamayme ‘ting you got dere!”

Kahn Man podcast catches fire

Catch Fly Me To The Moon in the music player at upper right, and in Episode 3 of the KMCC.

Speaking of the Kahn Man, his comedy music podcast is a certified hit, logging 370 downloads in its first month. In addition, Wayne Ross is now featuring the KMCC at the Dr. Demento-inspired .

Subscribe now at !

Related posts:

1. Big Phil’s Love Parade: You don’t know Jerry Lewis
2. Mad Music Dementia Top 20: At the automat with Jerry
3. Dalecast: Jerry rides the wave to No. 1

I’ll Get Old And Die breaks
on Kahn Man’s Comedy Corner

had been bugging me to come down to Waco (that’s in Texas) and record some tracks in his spacious garage apartment, and so the infamous G-1 Sessions occurred in January 2007.

Among the semi-completed songs was a live, raw mix of my uptempo protest song, , featuring Brandon on drums and me on vocals and guitar.

My better judgment told me to stash the song with the rest of the half-finished compositions on my hard drive. Instead, in a fit of ego, I gave the song to Tyrone Kahn.

As a result, I’ll Get Old And Die will make its Internet radio debut, from 7-9 p.m. and 10 p.m. to midnight CDT Wednesday, July 11, on .

The show appears on David Tanny’s , part of the network.

Farewell to Internet radio

Wednesday will be your last chance to catch DFSX Radio, as David is ceasing operation in advance of the July 15 Copyright Royalty Board that threatens Webcasters’ future.

Comedy music fans, however, will be pleased to learn that both Kahn Man and DT will return with podcasts featuring many of the same Demented artists. David’s will feature podsafe comedy tunes, and Kahn Man will introduce his new show in .

Kahn Man is also planning his first live show, the , set for July 25 in Long Beach, Calif.

Jesus H. Christ!

Tyrone, who’s careful to keep his show family friendly and is a devoutly religious man besides, questioned some of the lyrics in I’ll Get Old And Die:

My fate will rest in Jesus’ hands
Departing for the promised land
Where there’s no Republicans
When I get old and die!

“My wife was wondering why you mentioned Jesus in your song,” Tyrone said cautiously.

“Oh, that’s nothing,” I told him. “Jesus is in a lot of my songs. I even have a song called Everybody Wants To Be Jesus! Here’s the closing line:”

Life’s a cross that we bear with such dignity
Who’d ever turn down the chance to be
Jesus H. Christ!

“Gee,” Tyrone said. “I think you’re going a little too far, using His last name.”

You may have me there, Tyrone.

Vote for my new song

Grab this free download of I’ll Get Old And Die, give it a spin and let me know why I should !

Then visit DT’s new Dementia Top 20 Radio Show site and for I’ll Get Old And Die. While you’re there, check the box for my pal (aka The Volume Brothers) World Cup anthem .

I’ll Get Old And Die  (2:10).

Tyrone wraps up the show  (0:41).

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3. Tyrone Kahn explodes some myths