Thank goodness Facebook has gotten so hot, because I’ve been on Twitter for months now — blogging for even longer — and I’m so bored with those stuffy old media.

I think Facebook is here to stay, though, so I’ve broken ground on a Band Fan Page. Fan to follow all the action.

I’ll be posting gig reports, images, audio and video and inviting comments — you know, pretty much the same crap I do here.

So, come on over. And for old time’s sake, follow me on Twitter at . If you’re really old and out of touch, friend me on MySpace at .

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Almost two years after the infamous 9/11 release of , the reviews keep rolling in.

Let me just flip through some of the reviews here…hmmm, don’t have any. Must have misplaced them.

Fortunately, though, Red’s timeless comedy still rates with “world-traveling German mother of two (beagles)” and prolific epinions.com author , whose July 19 review raves, !!! [exclamation points added].

The indefatigable knotheadusc (not her real name) devotes a sentence or two to all 19 tracks on Red’s funny, funny, compilation, and says this about my own Her Shit Don’t Stink:

Filthy and filthier

Best Of earns a Product Rating of 4.0 (on a 5 scale). Over the course of two paragraphs, knotheadusc progressively describes the album as: explicit, sick, twisted, filthy, disgusting, filthy, crass, vulgar, disgusting, filthy, vulgar, raunchy, raunchy and filthier.

Filthy wins, with disgusting and raunchy running a respectable second.

“The Bottom Line,” she writes: “Don’t play this one for your mother.”

Now you tell me! My Mom adds another complaint to the reviewer’s list: Where did we go wrong?

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3. Most controversial: LWIM! album cover earns Gigwise honor

I used to try to write good content for my site, but that was before I discovered SEO.

SEO, sometimes called , is a magical tool that uses words to trick Google into thinking your Web site is important. As a result, thousands of people visit your site and you get .

It’s just that simple.

Now, regular people like me lack the skills to exploit SEO to best advantage. We must consult to find SEO specialists, or, as co-host Shawno Gordo calls them, SEO social marketing expert genius douchebags.

Bad spellers welcome

Even without SEO, though, my site has proved quite popular for some very valuable search terms — especially among people who can’t spell.

For instance (these are actual search terms visitors used to reach my site), turetzkysyndrome.com is No. 1 among 42.3 million sites on AOL and Google for the phrase .

Alas, spell “comedy” correctly and my site drops to . Still lands me on Page One, though!

Thanks to the rich content in posts such as this one, I’m No. 1 on Google for and No. 2 for and .

The term delivers a 1-2 punch, and I’m No. 1 for , No. 2 for and No. 5 for .

I’m also tops for , referencing the short-lived group featuring me and Brandon Higgins. If we only knew we had a fan, we might never have quit.

Abu Dhabi down with the fat ass

My blog is an international phenomenon as well, placing first among stutterers on Google UK for . Google Japan lists me second for , referencing my popular song of the same name.

Most impressive, though, is the appeal I hold for repressed (I’m presuming, male) Middle Easterners, tormented by the hidden charms beneath those oh-so-sexy burkhas.

Popular search terms include, from Alexandria, Al Iskandariyah, Egypt, ; from Ar Riyad, Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, fat hairy ass; and from Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emirates, big fat ass woman.

Who would have known? I write one song called My Fat Ass Itches and the world comes calling.

On reflection, I don’t need those silly old SEO weasels. In fact, I just might go into business for myself. You want to rank for big fat ass? I’m your douchebag!

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I had just begun bombing during my Saturday set at when Bill Wisener came sprinting back from his post at the front door, waving the Society page of Park Cities People.

“We made the paper! That’s me and you!” Bill exclaimed. In Chris McGathey’s candid photo from the April 24 edition, I appear to be holding up a happy but exhausted Bill, late on the second day of his 65th birthday celebration.

The bittersweet feature by Society Editor Georgia Fisher could be describing her own business as well. “Despite Industry’s Ills, Music Merchant Plays on. Bill’s Records owner not quite ready to throw in towel,” reads the headline.

To help keep Bill in the game and fill out your collection with a rare LP, CD or piece of music memorabilia, visit .

And if you’ve got an extra quarter, drop it in the box and buy a newspaper. Get ‘em while they last!

See blog.peoplenewspapers.com for more Bill’s .

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LWIM! album cover earns Gigwise honor

Incredibly, the editors of Gigwise.com somehow overlooked my comedy music EP, Look What I Made!, for their notorious feature.

But my album cover is scrappy, and it wasn’t about to be overlooked the second time around. Sure enough, Look What I Made! is the selection in the essential follow-up,

“Bowing down to readership demand, here they are in all their macabre glory,” the article begins. “Starting off tame, a few clicks in and the run-down gets more and more shocking and offensive — especially to those who are religious. Be warned.”

Warning: Explicitly funny!

Now, honestly, I don’t know if it’s better to be first or last on a list of this nature. But nevertheless, here I am. My entry reads:

Want your own copy of my infamous album cover? As an extra bonus, it comes with a copy of my CD, featuring five funny tracks, as heard on Sirius Radio, Dr. Demento and blah, blah, blah….

Get the disc now at , or from my own for $10, shipping included.

Check out all my happenin’ tunes (and the many ways to purchase it) in the department.

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No. 2 authority dumps praise
on ballad Her Shit Don’t Stink

Dave Praeger really knows his shit.

A political scientist at heart, Dave scours the Web for a lot of socially relevant crap and crams it all into his popular news site .

But spend a few moments wading through the effluence and you’ll find, perhaps suprisingly, that poop is a deep subject, indeed.

I mean, who wouldn’t be impressed by these astonishing tales of mankind’s valiant efforts to manage its production of ? Inspiring stuff.

And now for our song

But Dave also displays a keen nose for poop culture. For the latest example, check out today’s and a nice note about my comedy music ballad .

1. Podcast dishes Her Shit Don’t Stink
2. Headphone Bleed: Her Shit Don’t Stink
3. Her Shit Don’t Stink

Busy world traveler Hank Shiffman programs his globe-trotting with an eclectic mix of audio from the iTunes Music Store.

Not satisfied simply to share his observations with the guy in 22F, Hank posts brief, spikey and highly readable reviews of his selections on .

This week, myTunes takes on my comedy music EP, In just a few paragraphs, Hank captures my id, drops a reference and tags me with an obvious but irresistible nickname.

Hank sez:

Want more tasty reviews? Sign up for Hank’s myTunes .

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My comedy music EP, , remains conveniently available for on this site in disc and instant-download form. But why trust a disreputable merchant like me with your digital dollar?

Instead, buy my disreputable music from a merchant you know and trust. You’ve heard of and ? Now I’m on and .

Fans of deftly lyrical, melodic comedy songs (Sounds like: Adam Sandler, Henry Phillips, Stephen Lynch; Influences: Tom Lehrer, Allan Sherman, John Prine, Bill Cosby) can download and other popular tracks at (99 cents per single; $4.95 for the five-track album) or purchase the disc that contains the same tunes at ($8.99 plus shipping).

You can still listen to all my songs for free in the player.

Look What I Made! is also available for purchase at , and . Additional sites, including , and AudioLunchbox, will follow.

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Portrait captures the true pain
behind comedy music genius

Without pain, we would have no art for audiences to examine, internalize, claim as inspiration or blithely reject.

And I suppose if one factor separates my comedy music from the artistically disposable crowd at one extreme and the scatologically unconstrained scene at the other, it would be my painfully ironic view of love and romance.

That’s the way I would paint my self-portrait, anyway. Besides, it’s easier to paint a heart than an outsized ego. But don’t take my word for it.

Artist-musician Steve van Gelder (former frontman for the bands Joe Fool and The Karolinas) has affirmed my wounded lover’s status with the portrait Love Hurts, hit of the El Corazon art exhibition, continuing through February 24 at Dallas’ .

The reviews are in

Here’s what Jesus Chairez had to say about the acrylic-on-wood work at :

The exhibit is filled with heart interpretations, pieces that bring back nice memories of present love, but one large painting titled Love Hurts by Steve van Gelder is daunting. Love Hurts stops you in your tracks when you walk into the main gallery.

Steve van Gelder

The painting of a young man with a his bullet-riddled body and bleeding heart (Editor’s note: That’s my bleeding heart he’s talking about) reminds one for a moment of the pain one suffers when your lover leaves you or the person you newly admire doesn’t love you back. Or it recalls the friend you lost to love, the suicide that happened because he or she could not bear the hurt to love lost.

Yeah! Now we’re talkin’, right? Steve’s a great artist; I take nothing away from him. But in this case, I provided the angst; Steve merely served as a Polaroid in capturing my honest yet dignified expression of emotional pain.

You can find more of Steve van Gelder’s work at .

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12/9/08: I’ve moved again, to WordPress!

With the addition of the script, this site is now interactive. Select the Comments link at the bottom of any entry to add your own remarks.

Permalinks let you bookmark any entry for later reference.

Use the calendar to view entries for any day or month. Every item is also assigned to one or more categories. Choose a category from the list at right.

Thanks for participating!

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