Nation asks: Who will be the next weiner?

The time for panic will arrive soon enough.

As the Department of Homeland Security often reminds us, every American should know when to abandon all sense, cover your mouth and nose with a 10-cent dust mask from Home Depot and imagine you’re bleeding internally.

But that moment is not here yet. Continue reading

Posted in: Hot Topics at 12:57 pm Fri, May 1, 2009.

Mayfest pulls plug on pig flu scare

Oh, how the sausage turns.

Almost exactly one year ago, I was performing on the Zone Stage at Mayfest 2008 in Fort Worth, vainly competing for audience share with the far more appealing Ham Bone Express. I didn’t stand a chance.

“I’m not finished entertaining you yet!” I hollered as the crowd abandoned me for the bright lights and carny appeal of the neighboring pig races. Continue reading

Posted in: Hot Topics at 5:21 pm Thu, Apr 30, 2009.

Bad video: I’ve Got A Hole In My Head

In case you’re wondering where I’ve been the past week, well, I’ve been immersed in geek mode, attempting to produce a video that won’t turn to mush on YouTube.

But here’s what I eventually discovered: Everybody’s videos look bad on YouTube! The bad videos are what make YouTube a great big, fuzzy democracy. Continue reading

Posted in: Video at 11:28 pm Wed, Apr 15, 2009.

This is the Artist Underground Stage

Roving photographer Danny Bollinger missed my show; grabbed an image of the banner out front of the Artist Underground Stage at the Deep Ellum Arts Festival.

Post-mortem and horrifying video to follow!

Posted in: Gigs at 1:24 pm Sun, Apr 5, 2009.

Catch me at the Deep Ellum Arts Festival!

It’s festival time again, kids, and that means I’ll be onstage outdoors at an inappropriate time for adult humor, slinging Her Shit Don’t Stink and My Fat Ass Itches out amongst the face painters and fried Snickers concessions.

The folks at the 15th annual Deep Ellum Arts Festival will almost certainly regret inviting me to perform from 11:30 a.m.-12:15 p.m. Saturday, April 4 on the Artist’s Underground stage. Admission is free. Continue reading

Posted in: Gigs at 1:44 pm Wed, Apr 1, 2009.